“Be happy with who you are and what you choose to do.”
My life a year or two ago was, to say the least, different.
Sometimes I replay the memories in my life like a flip book; constantly reminiscing until I’ve reached the end, what’s happening in my life now. I’ll wake up some mornings and reach for my mug to make tea and think about the way my life has been. It’s been different.
I’m making new memories.
A year or two ago, there were 3 main things wrong with my life. My health, my relationships, and my independence.
My health was nothing out of the ordinary for a typical American lifestyle, but I felt awful. All the foods that I was consuming during that time in my life, I felt awful. Chocolate wrappers spread apart around my comforter at 10pm from craved 7-11 trips. Burgers, fries, candy, sugary juice. I didn’t care what I was consuming. Maybe I was trying to fill an empty void inside of me, but that was absolutely no excuse for my day to day life.
I would run out of energy rapidly.
I would flop on my bed at 5pm tired from 1 class.
I would also fall asleep in that one class.
I have so much more energy now, and rarely do I ever fall asleep in class.
I have learned that many of my relationships have improved not just because of what I choose to consume, but how I choose to treat them. I have much more patience and I am a lot more happier in general. I’ve learned that eating healthy and exercising frequently is not just a weight loss method, but a crucial part of the formula for a happier life.
My relationships a couple years ago?
I had one friend… and that was my boyfriend.
They say that all good things come to end, or that everything happens for a reason. Without going into too much personal detail, being single has brought me so many opportunities to explore myself and the world around me. I’m still growing and shaping into the person that I want to be, and this time in my life is for me to do just that. I still love and appreciate my relationship from awhile back, because without him, I would have gotten lost in the terrifying limbo from high school to college and my more personal issues with my father. If by any chance you’re reading this, thank you so much. I will forever be grateful.
My relationships now have been thriving and I cannot explain how much this means to me. Years ago I would never expect to have such a great support system! I used to think back in high school, “who needs friends when you’re comfortable with your one true love?”
I met Sarah, (she’s been featured a few times on this blog) my freshman year of university because she and I decided to tie the knot and become roommates! Haha. Throughout the year we bonded over so many things: politics, similar family feuds, makeup, shopping, and DIY fun! Though we suffered from other roommate issues, it brought us closer and we became a dynamic duo. She’s like my little sister and I couldn’t appreciate her more.
I also joined a club on campus called “Akbayan,” a filipino-based club that offers a program called “KAAMP” that allows you to be paired with a peer mentor, or say, a “big.” I filled out the survey out as honestly as I could and was truly myself when it came to the interview, and I was paired with the most loving kuya (big brother) ever! His name is Alan. The more we hung out, the more I noticed we were so alike in so many ways. It was almost scary. This would be a huge shift for me, because this would be another time in my life where I’d give my whole self (life stories and all) to someone again. It was emotional and it was difficult for me, but sharing our stories together made me realize that I can trust him with literally everything I have.
Joining Akbayan didn’t just bring me a loving big brother, but a loving line (named JAMSS) and family (named Luzonia!) as well. I didn’t expect to have the greatest honor of being placed in the most raw and affectionate family ever, but it was another blessing to me based on my previous years of my life.
I realize that my relationships part of this blog is lengthy, but I had close to no friends before deciding to make that change in my life. I am sometimes weary that I’ve messed up or made the wrong decisions, but it’s normal to feel that way sometimes. To me, experiencing new things can always be scary and not all situations come out the way you want them to. Taking the risk and making efforts towards your social goals will bring you at least one great friend. Please remember that!
Now comes my life now versus my life before in regards to my independence. My freshman year of university, I was scared to drive there alone. Another example? I was even afraid to eat alone in the Dining Commons. Why I was so afraid to experience things on my own? I still do not know. But like I mentioned earlier, taking the risk and doing something new whether it is alone or with someone or some people, know that you are strong enough to conquer your fears and that your perspective will most likely change. Remember that you are not alone. Everyone else is figuring themselves out, too.
My independence today? Well, I drive back home and back to university happily alone, and I eat alone just fine if I need to.
I feel more stronger than ever. Not just physically, but mentally AND emotionally. If you’ve gotten this far in this post, I hope you can see the correlation between all three of these parts of my life.
Sometimes being “comfortable” with where you are in life isn’t necessarily a good thing.
Take those risks, try new things, and make new memories.
If I hadn’t listened to my own advice, I wouldn’t have started this blog.
I also wouldn’t have the courage to post this.
I hope this post gives you the strength to go through with any of your possible future endeavors.
And ask yourself this question: Are you putting in effort towards creating new memories?